But I fell
by Xantall of the Farwood
Summary: Dar'sava losses her grip on the inner dragon when she runs into the Thalmer attacking a framer.


**But I fell**

_**A/N: **__ Hi guys I normally do this at the end but I wanted to give a fair __**WARNING**__ there is torture, mutilation and large amounts of blood in this fan-fiction but other than that it's okay that is why it is rated __**M **__just to be safe. I hope you enjoy it. __**Good Reading!**_

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><p>I was once called Dovahkiin by the people of Skyrim. I fought bandits, Forsworn encampments, and cleared out draugr ruins. I spoke with daedric princes doing their bidding and slaying their enemies. I faced dragons head on battling them with their own power. I have learned from the Greybeards, tasted the curse of the nightwalker, and flung head first in to Sovngarde itself to face the World Eater, Alduin; yet there was still more to do.<p>

Civil war had taken it's fangs to Skyrim while I worked to save Nirn. I avoided it every chance I had until I came back to the world of the living. I had stepped back to the real world with people in need and war rumbling in my ears with no goal, no premade plan. So I began to search.

I first came across the High elves raiding a farmer's home that made my bow hand itch. The children were crying clinging to their mother's skirt as the Thalmer mage ran another shock spell though the father's body. The man; a nord by the looks of him screamed and I hadn't time to think.

I took a breath and the shout ripped from my throat before I could realize what I had done. I don't like using my Thu'ums on those that can't fight back with the same power. This one I chalked up to my dragon blood. I had protected these people of Skyrim and now Thalmer were harassing them. I wouldn't, I just couldn't take that. Skyrim and her people belonged to me.

The mage was frozen in mid strike with the man at his feet. It was silent for a moment as I stalked forward. The guards looked stunned as I approached the man. The farmer cowered in fear and pain. I fought the urge to growl at his weakness as I knelt down. He flinched away so I knew I hadn't erased the anger from my face. My hands warmed with a healing spell I had learned early to help Faendal in close combat.

I laid my hands upon the man and the low gold light spread across him then retreated back. My ears twitched and pressed flat against my head as I heard the low crack of ice. "Take your family inside, farmer. Children do not need to see what is about to happen." I said softly helping him to his feet.

"You… you are the Dovahkiin." He said gazing at me in what I assumed was wonderment. "Many said you went to Sovngarde. So we believe you dead."

"I am, I did and I am not." A loud crack echoed off the small farm house. The man's eyes widened watching over my shoulder. "Now return to your home." He nodded and gathered his family, going inside. I turned to face the mage.

He was nearly thawed out and his robes hung like wet rags off his tall gaunt frame. "Who are you to think you are above the work of the Gods?" The Guards began moving towards me hoping to get a better advantage on the attack.

"I am Dovahkiin…" I scoffed placing my left hand on Mehrunes' Razor and the other on my Nightingale Blade. "…and your Gods hold no interest for me."

His eyes widened catching sight of my weapons. I just grinned. Anger began to write itself across his delicate elven features. "I have heard of you. You speak to Daedra and do their bidding."

"They answer more than the Gods do."

"You are worse than a worshiper of Talos. Arrest her!" I gawked openly at him. Was he serious? I am the Dovahkiin all I had to do was raise my voice and they would fall to my wrath. The guards moved forward and I barked out a Thu'um. The one of pain and they fell to the ground like dogs before their master. Yet still they howled out looking for help. The power of the Thu'um subsided and the guards did not rise. They whimpered and cowered but their mage stupidly stood gathering his limited wits about him.

"You cannot stop us! We will cleanse this world of heretics like you." He spouted off in a loud voice demanding my attention but it was on the two still on the ground.

They cowered afraid of me of the pain I inflicted upon them. I took a staggering step back. This was not me. I did not like killing or inflicting pain on the children of Nirn. I raised a hand to my head trying to clear away this strange need to dominate. During my inner turmoil I missed the mage casting a spell. It hit me and I stumbled further back. Just as suddenly as it came the doubt was gone and my blood boiled. I roared with the might of The Mane and leapt towards the male elf.

His eyes were wide and fear full as I drove my blade into his side; between his ribs. I felt it puncture something but that didn't stop me from twisting the blade and hearing two ribs crack. He screamed in pain, hands going to the wound as he crumpled to the ground. His once loyal guards backed away when he reached a bloody hand for their help. I retrieved my dagger ripping it with force from his side, opening the wound more.

I kicked him so he laid flat on his back gasping for air. Tipping my head side to side, I knelt straddling him. He gasped but air bubbled from the blood on his side. I reached out wrapping one of my deadly clawed hands round his small throat and squeezed; just enough so he wouldn't struggle. I took my blade and slit open his robes exposing that oh so golden skin to the sun.

I traced lines crossing his chest with my dagger leaving a trail of his own blood. They marked my path. I dug the dagger in at the bottom of his rib cage deep in the muscle until I felt bone and started to split him open. He screamed. His voice cracking and bubbling, blood slid from his mouth and his eyes started to roll.

"Stay with me." I said kindly as the warmth of a healing spell filled my hand holding his neck. His golden eyes flickered back to me. I smiled and finished my first cut to the top of his ribs. I started in on the next one that would follow the top of his ribs from shoulder to shoulder. The elf screamed more and louder this time the healing spells keeping him alive and conscious.

When I was done with that one I momentarily checked to make sure the others were still there. They sat rooted to their spots with a sick mix of interest and fear. Turning back to my work I made the final cut on his chest along the bottom and started to clean the skin and meat from the bones. The dagger would catch from time to time on his bone and I would need to pull harder. Sometimes one cracked. I worked in the blood and the ick until his chest was flayed open giving me access to his ribs. I scrapped my claw across his red ribs and a low laugh rumbled in my chest at the sound of his scream. I watched his lung rise and fall; one less active than the other.

"Pl…pl…" He tried to speak bringing more blood out of his mouth.

I looked at him confused. "Is there something you want?" I asked genuinely concerned. "Do you need more healing? We are far from done." His eyes widened trembling and tears rolled from them. I leaned closer to him resting my forehead to his. "Come now, no need for tears. You are allowing me to set an example of what will happen to the ones they love if they do not stop." I said sweetly waving my dagger towards his companions.

"Pl…Please Dragonborn st…stop." One guard spoke trembling trying to rise to his feet. I look towards them focusing on the one standing. His weapon was on the ground too far out of his reach. "We will stop. We…we will warn the others of what we have seen just please…"

"Please stop his suffering." I blinked that hadn't been one of the guards. I turned to see the farmer had come back outside. He stood seemingly fearless before me. He held his hands at his side clenched in fists. Leaning back I tapped my blade on one of the elf's ribs. The farmer looked sick as the elf screamed more from the vibration.

"Why should I stop? He was attacking you and your kin. Shouldn't you want him to suffer?" It was so confusing to me but there was some part, some small part that was telling me this was wrong. That I shouldn't be wrist deep into the elf's chest with his blood staining my armor and seeping into my fur.

"Not like this!" The farmer shouted and my ears shot up. "This isn't right. Yes I wished for his death, for justice when he and his group attacked us but this…" He waved a hand at the elf and me. "…this is far from justice." He sounded disgusted with me…maybe…maybe disappointed. I shook my head. How could he be I am protecting Nirn, protecting him, his family.

"How many families like yours do you think this elf has killed?" I snarled back at him my ears lying flat to my skull as I thrust the dagger at the Thalmer mage's face. I was right. I know I was right. This **WAS **justice. "How many fathers were taken from their sons? Do you know what these **RIGHTOUS **elves did to daughters and mothers!?" I spit daring him to speak again and he did with a stronger voice.

"I can only guess but this is not the right way, Dovahkiin. I was a soldier once and I heard you speak in White Run. You talked of peace, justice, fairness and forgiveness." He started walking towards me. "I hated outsiders. I believed in the purity of the Nords yet when you spoke you called for everyone to listen. You spoke to the soldiers asking them to think of the families they left behind. What would be left to return to when the child is grown and the wife has moved on because they were never there? You talked of a united Skyrim of races working together. And as I listened I knew that that was what I wanted but I could not do that as a soldier of Ulfric or the Legion. I laid my sword at your feet Dovahkiin and returned to my wife and child before I had nothing left to hold."

I turned my head from him. Had I actually said those words at one time? Had I truly asked the soldiers to lay down their weapons and fight peacefully? Shaking my head I could hear that small voice louder in my head. It finally reached over the shouts and roars of dragons; over HIS commands and anger. I pulled my dagger hand back looking down at the mess before me. Blood pooled around us as the elf gagged on more. I took a few unsteady breaths. "What did I do?" I nearly jumped out of my fur when a hand was on my shoulder.

"Dovahkiin."

I turned my head to see the farmer kneeing beside the elf. His knees in the elf's blood and his hand wrapped over my dagger hand. "No, it will taint you." I said not wanting the man to be part of this.

"We will do this together. Heal him enough so he can not feel this." He lifted his head to the guards. "Where do you Thalmer go?"

"It all depends on one's own belief." One of them said.

The farmer turned his head back to the elf. "She has done too much damage to save you the least that can be done is giving you peace."

"Tha…Thank you." The elf staggered out.

I shook. What had I become? Tears burned at my eyes. I had given into the dragons, given into what they wanted. To dominate and control through fear. I couldn't get my breath as I shook trying to hold a steady healing wave. A hand grasped my forearm of the arm with my claws still around his neck. I looked up to the elf. He held onto my arm meeting my eyes. His golden eyes looked nearly identical to mine. "Curse me. Please my soul is tainted beyond saving."

"For…forgive…ness."

I fought back a cry as the farmer positioned our hands over the elf's heart. "I'm sorry." I mumbled low under the farmer's prayers.

"May the Gods forgive all that you have done."

"The dragons were too loud."

"May they have mercy on your soul…"

"I didn't mean to get like this."

"…and welcome you home."

And with that he led my hand down plunging the dagger into the open chest of the elf and into his heart. Thump-Bump It beat once weak. thump-bump. A second time weaker and on the third it stopped midway through. I stood the fabric of my trousers pulling from the ground with a sick sound. I staggered back wrapping my arms around myself and I cried. I cried out for the loss of a soul. One I had put through so much unneeded pain. I cried for those he had taken from this world, for the soul of the farmer who was dirtied by my failure. And I cried for what I had become.

I was once called Dovahkiin by the people of Skyrim. I was to be their guardian, their savoir but I fell. Fell to temptation from the darkness that raged from the souls I stole from the dead he raised. The World Eater, Alduin was dead but his soul, his darkness lives on inside me.


End file.
